The Unfamiliar

When I wake up, I'm stil disoriented. Why am I in a single bed? Why do I hear adult voices in the kitchen? How do I turn the alarm clock off on this phone? There's a kid in the bed next to me? Whaaatt?? And then it all hits me.

I've decided once again to immerse myself in the unfamiliar. Wanting nothing more than to discover new things about the world around me I get up and start the day. Unless, I've immersed myself in the unfamiliar because it causes a distraction for me. It turns my attention away from wanting nothing more than to discover new things about ME.

Sorry self, I'll get to you later, right now I have to spend the day in a busy restaraunt kitchen with a french speaking chef and spanish speaking EVERYONE else.

Sorry self, I'll get to you later, right now I am going to try to keep a lid on a ten year old whose explosion is inevitable and everyone just wades cautiously in HIS waters.

Sorry self, I'll get you you later, right now I am going to try to create some peace for Sadie, who is constantly battling herself and everyone around her.

Sorry self, you'll get your turn... once everything is familiar again.

What if these summer escapes aren't really escapes at all? What am I escaping? Why am I drawn to the unfamiliar? How can I get back to the thought process that had me convinced that leaving the people that know me best, will help me know myself better?

Right now nothing makes sense.

xo